*fourfeetnine*

Disclaimer: I am not dating Kenny Sia contrary to what some people think.  If you think so because of my last post where I posted the picture of him and me in my fake wedding dress, I was actually going to say he was my dad giving me away at the church wtf but I decided not to because only Fat Her is my true dad.

So no I am not seeing him even though he is a very nice and funny person.  The End.

I forgot to say in my previous post my New Years resolutions!

I never make resolutions.  Because I usually forget them after the second day *shifty eyed

And I always think that if there’s something to change about me I don’t have to wait until the New Year to change it.

But this time I dunno why I decided to make resolutions (probably because I never keep the ones I make in the middle of the year anyway)

So! This year I resolve to:

1. Lose weight wtf.

I dunno la!  I think I’m an okay size right now.  But my face looks so fat in pictures you wouldn’t believe it.  I am losing my jaw just like Ooib it’s the Ooi sibling Fat Jaw curse I am so not used to this I never looked fat at any angle before!  So I must leave some margin for error.

But quite hard now because every time I’m faced with  a plate of food all resolve flies out the window and I tell myself “my diet starts tomorrow” wtf.

Or like today I had Macdonald’s twister fries and I had to try so hard not to eat up Ai Ping’s fries as well.  Achievement that I managed to eat only my own wtf.

But I am considering going jogging or badminton with Jam.  And you know I am serious because never in my life have I willingly said “yes I will exercise” the last time I went to the gym (2 years ago) I rolled around on the mat for a while and then hung outside the squash courts and watched idly while the players ran about panting.

2.  Be kinder.

I think I’ve forgotten how to be kind anymore:(

I’ve gotten numb to the sufferings of the world because of all the cheats and liars out there.  Like the monks who stand in pasar malams and beg for money.

HAHAHA Jam told me once this monk went up to her friend to beg and the friend plopped a packet of nasi lemak into his bowl because that’s what you’re supposed to do isn’t it!  You can only give the monks food… I think money is not allowed in the monks code of honor or something.

But the monk was clearly a fake monk because he got angry and threw back the nasi lemak at him hahahahahaahahah

And once I think we were in Lorong Selamat in Penang eating when this beggar on crutches came up to us and asked for money.  He was very old and pitiful looking so Fat Her gave him some money.

He said “thank you” in a very soft and weak voice and proceeded to hobble away slowly.

All of us watched in pity at him walking away slowly when suddenly he straightened up, put his crutches under his arm and marched off WTF.

And then near my workplace there’s this stupid woman who pretends to be blind and comes to our table when we’re having lunch to beg.

Clearly we know she is not really blind because even if there’s a maze of chairs stacked between her and us she’ll manage to manuever around them and arrive at our table safely.  Dunno maybe unless she has like supersonic hearing like a bat wtf can hear the sound waves echoing off the chairs or something wtf.

So with all these people around how are you expected to keep your trust and charity!  But I think the world needs more charity and kindness in it so that’s my second resolution for the year.

Maybe that’s the Aquarius in me talking?  I heard Aquariuses are very weird and eccentric wtf but want to do good for the world or so Fat Her says.

Speaking of Aquarius my birthday is coming up!

And I asked my parents to get me this since I’ve been away from home for my birthday for 4 years:

I am so easily satisfied should have asked for a nice handbag wtf.

OHOHOHOHO it’s a laptop cooling table!  Dunno what it’s called just simply make things up.

You know you put your laptop on it and there’s a fan underneath so it cools off your computer?

And it’s Hello Kitty!

Also got a mouse also Hello Kitty no more using stupid touch pads yay!

I love them thank you Parents!

I was so happy with them that I cleaned my room wtf so my room would look nice and match with my mouse and laptop >.>

This was my post recapping 2007 last year *click*

So what has happened for me in 2008?  Let me recap before I get any older wtf.

I started off 2008 in Vancouver, playing with snow and sparklers and counting down to the new year in the bachelor pad of Fun Group #1 and Fun Group #2 wtf.

Funny thing!  Today is 2 Jan 2009 and I found a folder for 2 Jan 2008.  I spent today at work then had dinner and snuggled down on the couch to watch a fake DVD wtf but last year I was hidden in a karaoke room in Richmond with Esther & Angie.

Good times wtf.  Back when I was thinner and fairer boohoo.

In 2008 I…

slogged and slogged for my thesis (and honors!)

attended a forum for Malaysian students at Harvard where I met some very nice and smart people.

took part in a Thai dance with Shanshan and Mild which cause Mild a lot of undue stress and anxiety and sleepless nights wtf.

celebrated my birthday in Boston with a pink ice cream cake and no eyes.

celebrated Chinese New Year by wearing a qipao…

and emptied half the buffet table with Angie and Suet wtf.

became models with Angie for Mild’s final project for her photography class.

went to Miami with Angie, Mild and Jeannie and discovered Mild’s horrific side which wouldn’t let us skip clubbing for even one night.

became a ninja wtf.

attended Senior Ball with this group and 500 other very drunk women.

graduated!  With a major in Asian Studies (East Asian History ask me anything! wtf).  Mount Holyoke Class of 08 yo.
panicked for a while over job prospects.  Considered teaching in Japan, staying in New York to job hunt, working in Singapore but decided to move back to KL.  (at the expense of separating from my soulmate T3T)

found a job I like.

But not before getting molested by an interviewer fuck him forever hope he chokes on shit and dies.

went to Redang with the Club.

dyed my hair back to dark after 5 years of orange hair.  Once you go black you never go back wtf wtf.

Met someone special very unexpectedly:)

got married HAHA no I kid.

got our picture stolen and used for a prostitution site WTF fuck this shit la seriously!

2008 has been a very … different year.

Huge changes in my life… moved back from the States, left all my close friends to come home:(  And most of all, that I left my life as a student and have now embarked on my life stage as a proper working adult.

There were many difficult moments when I had to learn how to cope and how to let go of certain things or people that weren’t good for me.

Last year I wrote “This year, I realized that having your heart broken at seventeen and having your heart broken at 22 is incomparable.

Next year will be better.”

And I was right:)  Looking back on this year, I may not know for sure if moving back to KL is good for my mind wtf and horizons in the sense that I think being in KL is to live a very sheltered life.  My family is here and they will always take care of me.  But I miss being independent and sometimes I wonder if I’m still growing as a person.  And although wonderful people, Malaysians tend to be of the same mould and have the same mindset and outlook, and I miss having the diversity and er.. weirdness of people in America.

But that said, I am happy.  I don’t know what will happen in the future but it’s enough for right now.

Happy 2009 everyone.

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The other day Su Ann and Martian wrote out a very very cute couple meme which they called “The Great Couple Meme”.

It’s a very sweet and endearing meme that a couple writes about each other kind of to show how they look at their relationship and how well they know the other person.

Unoriginal Aud loved it and wanted to do it too!

So clearly, the obvious choice of person to do it with would be…

Angela.

Because we are soulmates!  (but not lesbian partners)

So here goes!

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For those of you who have been wondering why the lucky 8 of us were given free makeovers, shopping trips and FOOD, this is the reason why:

It’s called the Dell Inspiron Mini 9.  To be exact, the Maxis Broadband-ready Dell Inspiron Mini 9.

Maxis has teamed up with Dell to produce this teeny laptop computer that comes with a built-in HSPA modem.  To noobs (like me who had to ask three different times what it meant), it means that the computer has Maxis Broadband Service fitted inside.

In other words (I still didn’t understand at this point), you can go online with this laptop anywhere without cables, without needing to make sure there is a wireless connection available for you to steal wtf.

So the kind people of Maxis lent me one of these for a week to play with, to carry around and to basically act like a poser at Starbucks because my computer is way cooler than everyone else’s wtf.

You know why!

Because Dell Inspiron Mini 9 (true to its name!) measures 9 inches!  Sorry, 9 inches diagonally so it’s actually less than that in terms of width.

I pulled it out of its box and instantly fell in love with it.

You know how I have a penchant for all things small!  Every time I see something tiny or fits me I feel like it was MADE for me and I need to have it!

And everyone at office thought it suited me so well too didn’t look too small or too big in my hands <3333

See how it looks on my lap just nice right doesn’t really look like a supertiny laptop!

And when everyone poses with it their laptops all look tiny in their hands except mine *smug

Anyway, one week with the Mini 9 was so —– shit I forgot the word.  Makes me feel like I have the power to do anything la wtf.

When waiting for someone, whip out laptop to check email. (no need to sleep in public anymore wtf)

When wanna show off I got cool laptop, whip it out to action to passersby wtf.

I mean I have a laptop at home too (Dell incidentally) but even though it’s 14 inches I don’t feel like lugging it around cos it is really heavy and quite inconvenient.

But with the Mini 9 I was carrying it around during our Day Out and I realized that the laptop I was carrying was actually lighter than my own handbag = =

I brought it to work and although I couldn’t use it much there cos all my emails are in my desktop, I’ve been damn sick for the past two days, and I kept thinking if only I had my own company laptop like all the fancy schmancy people above me, I could have this Mini 9 (by this time, I’d already returned it sigh) and I could just lie in bed and check all my emails so convenient and easy!

(I guess you should be able to tell how much I dread going back to work and seeing all the emails last night I even dreamed about work the whole night long in between waking up because of fever T___________T)

But not only for work!

Like I said, when you’re out with friends and wanna be a poser.

Or somewhere with Grandma and you need a breather from all your relatives’ reminiscing talk wtf.

I’m thinking about getting it now actually.  See how la IF I EVER GET A PAY RISE IN THE NEXT FEW MONTHS.

To get the laptop, you pay RM99 for 24 months and it comes inclusive of 6 months worth of Maxis Broadband subscription.

And then after the 6th month, the Maxis Broadband service will be automatically extended at a promotional rate of only RM77 a month.

So after 24 months the laptop is yours to own and do whatever you want with.

For more info, visit here.

I only found out a couple of days before the event that we were all supposed to wear costumes to the Nuffnang VPOST Christmas Party in Singapore.

What made matters worse for me was the theme — we all had to dress according to one of the letters V, P, O, S or T.

And this Yat had to assign me the letter V!!!

I asked Yat “V? What stands for V? Vagina?” WTF

He said “vampire, violinist, virgin…”

I said “ooo virgin!”

I told KY about it and he went “HAHAHAHAHAHAH” *annoyed

I told Kenny about it and he said “good idea wear white and splash some red paint on you” WTF

I googled Madonna Like A Virgin and found this picture:

This is what I would go as!

I had two days to get my outfit!  And those two days were meant to be spent at work.

So guess who my costume angels were!

Hello Hui Jing and Hui Ting!

(Hui Wen I stole this off your blog *guilty)

(And I chose this pic to shift the spotlight to your sisters because cannot see your face WTF)

Hui Jing has a online clothes shop called Velvet Ribbon and when I was wondering where I could find a white wedding-type dress like in a day’s time wtf I immediately thought of Jing because the Hoe sisters have such interesting, one-of-a-kind taste in clothing:)

So I went to her website and lo and behold the first picture I saw was a poofy tulle white dress which would be perfect:)

I emailed her and sent her the picture of Madonna and asked her if she could help me get some long pearls, fishnets, lace gloves and maybe some tulle.  Sort of like forcing her to be my personal shopper wtf.

And she and Ting came through with everything!  The very next day everything was ready to be picked up and all I had to do was swing by after work to get it!

My skirt of tulle and stockings.

Super long strand of pearls that Hui Ting lent me plus a cross necklace of mine that I wrapped around my wrist.

(Stolen from Jasonmumbles!)

Me looking like a tool wtf but this is to show you the short lace gloves they sourced for me!  They were a bit big because my hands are the size of a toddler’s wtf but I safety-pinned them up I guess it adds to the whole Like a Virgin grunge bride look.

I also fashioned a huge piece of tulle into a big bow that went on the back of my head (not visible in picture)

But visible in this one!

A closer look at the dress.

I sewed (okay I mean my mother did wtf) another huge piece of tulle behind my dress as my train.

And this picture is up just because I look quite tall here wtf (explanation: Chee Ching took this picture from a lower level)

Um the Korean pop star rapper next to me is just my er… arm candy wtf.

So my outfit took two afternoons of shopping for Hui Ting…and one night of improvising and sewing for me and Mummy Ooi.

And it was all worth it because I won Best Dressed!  I was already very touched by Jing and Ting’s willingness to help me on such short notice to scrounge for clothes and now that the outfit they sourced won, what other reason could there be not to go check out cute, quirky Velvet Ribbon!

(Stolen from Kenny)

Us on stage during the Best Dressed contest and I am pulling up my stockings seriously my life is just full of fail moments wtf.

(Except when I won! wtf.  Thanks Nuffnang & VPOST!)

More on the party and Singapore later when I manage to steal everybody’s pictures.

Normally I love wrapping presents.

For all my untidiness and disorganization I am actually pretty good at cutting wrapping paper to exact sizes, making sure everything folds at 90 degree angles, folding paper to make perfect sharp ages and making the whole package look as smooth and pretty as possible.

But not this time.

This time I opened the huge roll of assorted wrapping paper from Memory Lane to find out that MEMORY LANE IS A WHOLE BUNCH OF CHEATS AND LIARS

There were 4 pieces of wrapping paper in the roll.  But I think to save money (AND CHEAT THEIR CUSTOMERS) each sheet of paper was only half the size of the normal ones!

So this is what I had to do!

This is actually quite a big present.  So as you can see, I had to use TWO wrapping papers wtf.

TWO papers which aren’t even of the same pattern T________T

Stupid Memory Lane!  How can bluff people like that!  See because of them I have to wrap my present with 2 contrasting papers damn ugly!

We’re playing Secret Santa and I am going to be so scolded tomorrow I can bet my life on that T__________T

And to make matters worse, Racheal told me about this Christmas tree hung with little paper stars and each paper star has a underprivileged child’s name on it, with what they want for Christmas written on it.

And you pick a star and fulfil the kid’s wish and have the present delivered to them.

So I picked an 8 year old girl called Anne and bought her gift.

And again the paper was too small to wrap her box!

I was thinking shit how can I give the poor girl some crappy miswrapped present!

And wonders of wonders I found a piece of the same exact wrapping paper in my house!  So I thought okay never mind at least the wrappers are the same I can just use two sheets to wrap and it will be fine.

And then!  My smart mother!  Very stingily said “eh this paper is too big let me cut it up to the right size”

And she cut it into the wrong size T___________T

Cut up the two small pieces into even smaller pieces T_________T

So in the end I had to wrap the present with not one not two not three but FOUR small pieces of paper T___________T

Check this out wtf.

Sigh one of the few things I’m good at and look at how it turned out T3T

Anyway on the topic of gifts look what I got recently!

Hello Kitty 2009 calendar!  Boss commissioned someone to buy it for me I think she thinks I’m too forgetful *shifty eyed

BEST PRESENT EVER!!!!

I love lolcats!!  Anyone who doesn’t know lolcats please go to http://www.icanhascheezburger.com you won’t regret it T_____T

I love it more than King Julien in Madagascar!  And god knows I love King Julien wtf.

When I got it I brought it to show off to Ally and Jammie  *proud

And they both squealed and Ally even dribbled watermelon juice over it while Jam dropped chocolate cake on it wtf.

Ok here I am to talk about Macau!

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I’m back from Hong Kong!

Will update more tomorrow because it is raining very heavily now I must go sleep before it peters off!

But first a sneak peek… at Disneyland Hong Kong!

My pictures are back to normal size!

The point is to show you the Disney bedroom slippers on my feet!  Not very clear but there’s a gold embroidered Mickey head on each slipper very cute!

Not surprising that I stole the slippers (so did Tim wtf)

And a Disney pen!  Was contemplating taking the bathrobe and notepad paper too but better not develop thieving habits.

We bought books to entertain us on the flight there and back.

It is clear which book belongs to who.

That’s right, everybody wtf.

Ok la sleep first!

P/S: I don’t get why everyone goes on and on about how P/S I love you is so damn good and Cecilia Ahern rocks their socks because I didn’t like her writing at all!  Very stilted and I kept getting pulled out of the scene to analyze what she was doing wrong because I thought it didn’t engage me at all!  Characters were too one-dimensional and Holly wallowed in self pity too much.   There were some mildly funny parts but I thought she was trying a bit hard to be funny!  AND I DIDN’T CRY AT ALL WHAT IS THIS

ME!  The girl who cried through 200 or so pages of the Kite Runner, and watched and cried through half of Walk to Remember  TWICE and who sobbed with Angela “uhuk uhuk” when we watched Ghost together.

So all in all it sucks and if this is what the book is like I can’t imagine how terrible the movie must be >((((

I am in Macau!  On holiday!  A much needed break from work I was falling sick so often and taking forever to get better each time T_T  Somore everyone else at work will be going to Japan on holiday except me T_____T Because I’ve already been to all the places they’re going to don’t waste money and time la aih.

Anyway yesterday I got the chance to watch the Cirque du Soleil which is something I’ve always wanted to go for!

Cos I always watched clips of it on tvs in electric appliance stores wtf and every time I would tell Fat Her I need to go watch this  sometime in my life.

And yesterday walking around the hotel I saw huge ass posters of it and said “Ah Bah!  We have to go!”

“But why? I want to go watch the topless show next door” (whiny voice)

I cleverly said “No no you don’t understand this is the best circus in the world” (lying)

“Really? Okay let’s go then” (easily cheated)

So we went!

And it was really pretty!

It was full of acrobatics and leaping and dancing and singing.  (although all in French because obviously it’s a French production)

But I am never ever going to watch another performance with him ever again.

Honestly I think he is the reincarnation of the Three Angry White Men rolled into one.  So he is technically Angry Asian Man to the Power of 3 wtf.

He lolled about on his seat and muttered to himself.

When I asked him what, he said “I can’t take this seriously!  They are tied to strings for safety”

I said “Of course la!  If they fall then how!  This is just them being smart”

“NO LA! They’re using the strings to help them land!” and etc etc.

When a troupe of dancers came out wielding sticks with fire on both ends, he said “Please la I’ve seen the Indian man at the Curve do that too” and “Some more the indian man ate the fire (WTF) I don’t think these people are going to eat their fires” WTF.

And when they pushed out huge trampolines and did a jumping leaping routine across the stage on them, he muttered “the only way they can make this up to me is if they let me jump on the trampoline” WTF hahahaha damn angry!

At least with Angry White Man #3 (David) he liked musuems and we mapped out all the musuems and temples in Kyoto to visit.

With Angry Asian Man, everything to do with culture was off-limits wtf.

What am I doing in Macau with him!

When I spotted the Musuem of Macau, he spent 10 minutes trying to convince me not to go in.

His reason: what if we get hungry WTF.

But I perservered!  The musuem was on the history of Macau and I am an East Asian history major how could I not go in besides I love musuems!

With a mock (AND PINK) setup of how a house built by the Portuguese would look like.

And of course Ah Bah the Philistine wtf yawned through the entire musuem and I think the highlight of his day was when he spotted this:

So funny and interesting *warmly wtf

Ok will blog more when I get back I hate using Macs.